Update

Today was the last day of the "week" in which I was told that I would hear about the job I interviewed for. I don't know how I feel about it.  A part of me never did think I would get the job. I wanted to believe that it was just my own low self-esteem that wouldn't let me be more positive. I know that it's still possible. Even though they said a week, it was Thanksgiving last week, which could have put them behind. However, I heard the girl that was being replaced talking to someone while I waited for my interview; and she was talking about moving on to a better position. She told this person that they were currently interviewing for her replacement, then she would move on. The impression she gave was that they wanted to find someone quickly. I think that's part of why I don't think I got the job.

I have applied to 4 more jobs since my last entry. At this point, I don't think we can afford to pay rent and utilities, gasoline, our meds, and still be able to afford to eat. Let alone the internet to keep looking for jobs and our cell-phones to get phone calls about jobs.

I'm not trying to complain, but I want to give a full accounting of what it's like looking for employment in today's economy. I know that a lot of the people who read this have been in my situation before so they can understand, but I still feel like I need to share my experiences. That includes how I think and feel about what is going on.

It's scary to think that you could lose your home. My family went through it several times when I was a child so I know my parents understand, as well as a few others I personally know. This is the first time in my adulthood that things have been this rough.

I've always been able to find some kind of employment when it was really necessary. However, it hasn't always been the best kind of work. I've spent a lot of time working at dead-end jobs, or minimum wage jobs. At this time, I feel like I may have to settle for what I can get. That thought depresses me, though. Am I always going to be stuck working such jobs? Why is it that necessity never lets me have the jobs I want? The kind of jobs I could make a career, not just a job?

We were told growing up that if we get an education we can find better employment. I even remember being told that I could find better jobs with some college education, even if I didn't graduate. Today that isn't really true. I have 4.5 years of college, and an Associates Degree, but it hasn't gotten me anywhere. Employers want specific degrees or experience. As I'm sure a lot of you understand, that leaves most of us stuck.

I want to be able to take this opportunity that has happened to me and finally get a good job. Right now, however, it looks like it's time for me to apply at Wal-Mart, fast food places, or even the gas station down the street which is currently hiring.

At this time, it's hard to be positive.