Lost my job

I thought that writing in this blog @ this time might be good for me for a number of reasons. First, I could work out my thoughts and emotions regarding the loss of my primary job. Second, it would be good practice for my keyboarding skills. Finally, it would be a good way to get back into the habit of writing again.

Now, about losing my job. I really don't want to go into a lot of detail about the reason for losing my job. After all, this is not a private blog. (If anyone wants details, I can tell you more in person.) Let's just say that it was a mistake that could have been bad, but thankfully wasn't. Unfortunately, it fell under company policy that I lose my job because of it.

For those of you who don't know or need a reminder, I work quite a lot with children and adults with disabilities.  The job that I currently still have is working w/ the Special Ed. class at the local Middle School.  The job that I just lost was working with adults w/ disabilities in their homes; sort of like a caregiver.  It's a little difficult for me to avoid forming attachments with the people that I work with. I am especially close with 3 guys that I used to be a Resident Manager for.

One of the things that keeps haunting me is how lucky I got that the mistake wasn't worse than it was.  I'm not really concerned about how it affected me, but how it would have affected one of my clients.  On the other hand, I am very grateful that it wasn't worse.  Still, it would be nice if I could stop obsessing over it.

One of the other things that is really bothering me is the feeling that I abandoned my 3 guys.  I keep thinking of all of the things that I used to do for them and now I'm not there to do it.  I am well aware that anyone is replaceable, and that they will find someone else to do the work I did, but I still wonder if they're getting the care they need.  I know that's silly.  They've had other staff in the past, and will have more in the future.  I think the best way to describe it is to say that in a small way, they are like my children and I feel like I abandoned them to someone else's care.

Finally, on a very selfish level, I feel like I let down my husband. While he is training for better employment, I was the primary bread-winner.  The job I just lost took away almost half of our income.  Of course, I still have my other job; but I am only allowed to work 3.5 hours/day due to budgetary issues w/ the School District.  That's less than 20 hours/week.  That doesn't really pay a lot.  It also doesn't help that it only pays once a month.

Right now I'm not really feeling very upbeat.  It's hard to be motivated enough to do the things that have to be done.  On the flip side, keeping busy with housework and filling out applications has at least kept my mind busy.  That won't really last long, unfortunately.

I want to end today with an update on the job search:
     Yesterday I filled out an application for Sam's Club.  Today I have filled out an application for Lowe's as a Cashier, and finished updating my information on Workforce Services, and LDS Employment.

Wish me luck!