Smartphone withdrawal

Now that it's gone, I am finding out just how much I used my smartphone. I'm going through withdrawal. So much of my nervous energy has returned. I can't seem to find enough things to do with my hands. I'm already tired of watching Netflix, reading, and crocheting. What did I used to do with my time to keep myself occupied?

I'm realizing how much my smartphone satisfied my OCD: everything is organized, easy to access, and can be found in a small little electronic device. I could read from my smartphone, look up phone numbers, watch videos, play games, make notes/reminders, have an alarm for anything I needed to remember (and my memory can be so bad that I had a lot of alarms, not just for waking up), keep track of my bills and finances, & so much more. I've started having more anxiety when I need to check my calendar, or use a calculator, or look up information of any kind, etc.

I've been a tech-enthusiast for awhile now. I wouldn't say a tech junkie, as I'm not obsessed with technology, but I have loved the convenience, simplicity, and efficiency of technology for a long time. I even used to have a PDA because of how convenient and efficient it was. Don't get me wrong, I love having a computer, too. However, I'm discovering that it's not convenient enough because it's a desktop and, therefore, not mobile (i.e., able to move around). It might be a little easier if I had a laptop that I could take with me, and I haven't had a chance (or the money) to use a tablet, but having everything available to me on a device that I can put into my pocket: that's efficiency to me.

I can't believe how much it's really bothering me. There are moments when I want to cry out of frustration, literally cry. Of all the things that being poor has deprived us of, I think this is affecting me more than almost anything else. Weird, isn't it? Even now, my leg is bouncing enthusiastically with too much nervous energy and because my anxiety is going up just writing about this. I think the only thing I can say now is, "Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!"